Find my cinemachords.com article here!
As you may have heard of – unless you have been living in a
cave for the past 6 months – Catching Fire – the second opus of The Hunger
Games franchise – is to be released in a few weeks. The film will actually hit
London first on the 11th of November. The dystopian sci-fi first movie does
feature kids killing each other on live television. As cruel as it sounds, it
may be the most accurate portrayal of what could become reality-TV if broadcasters
keep going in the direction they’re headed. For the upcoming release of this
disturbing follow-up directed by Francis Lawrence, we came up with the Top 5
Badass Kids in Movies. Who do you think would win in this bloodbath?
5. Simon - Mercury Rising (1998)
Simon Lynch (Miko Hughes) is this
autistic genius who threatened U.S. National Security in Mercury Rising. The
9-year-old solves a puzzle only to discover it was hiding a government secret code.
Bad government guys are obviously on to him and they send a hitman to get rid
of the boy. That’s when Simon teams up with FBI Agent Art Jeffries (Bruce
Willis) to escape from this situation.
Simon might not be big on sword
fights but he could probably pierce your eardrums with his scream and come up
with an ingenious scheme to get rid of the other kids in the Hunger Games
arena. This boy who screwed up U.S. National Security could probably be able to
fight off a few kids with bows and arrows.
4. Hayley - Hard Candy (2005)
Hayley (Ellen Page) is the modern
Little Red Riding Hood. In Hard Candy, she tracks down a pedophile to make him
pay for his crimes. All it takes is a few weeks to seduce the man over the
internet, agree to meet him in a café and Hayley manages to get invited to his
place and makes us forget who the real predator is.
Hayley is the master of
convincing and uses elaborate plans. She isn’t scared of blood and she can
handle a scalpel, a rope, or a gun. Hayley is used to attack adults. Sure
enough, a bunch of kids wouldn’t do her a lot of harm.
3. Rufio - Hook (1991)
Rufio (Dante Basco) is the leader
of the Lost Boys. He took over the gang when Peter Pan left Neverland to become
an adult. He is a kickass skateboarder who knows his way around a golden sword
and has killed several pirates during his adventures.
We all know Rufio’s tragic fate
but if he had another chance and was thrown in the arena, he would certainly
not blow it. He may not be able to fly but nobody can in The Hunger Games. He
could challenge Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) at climbing trees. The guy
lives in them! He’s also very good at cursing.
2. Wednesday Addams - The Addams Family (1991)
Wednesday (Christina Ricci) is a
deadpan kid with a passion for deadly weapons. She spends a lot of time
terrorizing other kids and trying to kill her brother as part of her sick
games.
That little homicidal maniac
isn’t afraid of anything or anyone. Death is her favorite extra-curricular
activity. She feeds on other people’s fear. If no electric chair is available
in the arena, she will probably be able to come up with a lethal use of any
item around her. Wednesday wouldn’t just kill the kids though, she would
torture them until they die. Otherwise, where’s the fun?
1. Mathilda -
Léon : The Professional (1994)
Mathilda (Natalie Portman) is so
adorable that she could seduce any kid in the arena to team up with her and
probably shoot them in the head at the first opportunity. After all, she learned
from the best. Mathilda was trained to be a 12-year-old hitman by Léon (Jean
Réno), the best in his field. Even though he hasn’t trained her to master the
bow and arrow, she’d be good at using anything with a trigger. A crossbow would
do.
So who do you think would challenge Katniss Everdeen the
most ?
Enjoy the trailer of Catching Fire until it hits your
theaters in November !
Nice list and I love the inlcusion of Mathlida and Hayley, but I'm surprised you did not mention Hanna, Hit Girl or Boltie(Super) I would love to see them in Battle Royale,,Opps I mean Hunger Games.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Well Hanna and Hit Girl were a bit too obvious for me. I thought I'd hit the audience with some 90's classics instead. Also, Boltie seems great but it would be Ellen Page twice and I haven't seen the movie yet so I can't judge. Also I wanted to avoid the super-hero type. Haha are you one of those haters of The Hunger Games because you feel like it's just a copycat of Battle Royale?
ReplyDeleteHayley would win hands down! Ellen Page was so good in that film. Good list!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Do you think Hayley would win over Mathilda? I think it would be tight between those two.
ReplyDelete